The Great Pillow Disaster of 2022

Today’s blog post was born from a little line of text written in March 1990: “So here’s how it went down. Erica [I want you to know her real name so you can point at her in public]….”

Let me set the stage. I’m an 8th grader. My parents own and run a small community newspaper. I’ve had a major mishap with a mustard bottle while making my lunch. There’s no downplaying it - it was bad. But it was a mistake! I was a dumb teenager - these things totally happen. And who puts carpet in the kitchen anyway?

The article in the paper that my dad wrote that week was called, “The Great Mustard Spill of 1990”. And yes, it was a play on words meant to summon up the Exxon Valdez spill. But it wasn’t all bad, right? I mean, it’s not like there was a comic strip too? Um, there was. It’s not like ALL my teachers made comments, was it? Um, yeah they did. It’s not like the school secretary, the nurse, and the produce guy at QFC talked about it? It’s why I went to private school the following year.  (Okay, that part isn’t true! 🤣) 

And so when karma showed its little head this afternoon, I welcomed him with open arms. I was offered $100 for my silence, but this is much much more fun.

You see, my mom and dad [Joe Acton-I want you to know his real name so you can point at him in public, or ridicule him online] are at a Gard-N-Hook retail event. Dad’s been going solo to many of his events, but my mom opted in for this adventure. I got a text from the road yesterday asking if their pillows were outside in the driveway.  Um, no? Oh good, the response went, they must be at the top of the stairs where we accidentally left them. Well, this afternoon, having happily survived another work week, I decided the nice thing to do would be to go upstairs and get said pillows off the floor and back on their bed. But…no pillows on the stairs. Or on their beds, or the sofa, or anywhere else I looked. Well, sweet, I thought! They must’ve actually been in the car. Whew! No one likes a road trip without a good pillow! I texted as much.

You know what they didn’t have in 1990? This kind of on-demand evidence. Although I have a way with words, there’s nothing like a primary source, right? Ha!

Sometimes it goes on like this for days and days. And then it gets worse. But if you're lucky, you'll live long enough to be a problem, again, for your parents. (See what I did there? 😜)