Day 37: Bloopers, First Edition

During my first couple years of teaching, I carpooled with a woman who lived in apartments near me in Issaquah, and also taught at SES.  We had similar tastes in music and books. We fed each others cats, debriefed after school, and all the other things that close colleagues might do. But for all the similarities, we were quite different people.  Susan was measured, even, and calm, and I’m, well….you know, me!  This was really highlighted for me one day when I covered her class for her for about 1/2 hour. I don’t remember the circumstances, but it was a meeting of some sort. I came down when my kids were at PE, and she introduced me to her 2nd graders and reiterated the instructions. She was quiet, and spoke very slowly. I was petrified! I was certain that I would ruin all of the zen if I even opened my mouth, so I vowed not to speak the whole time. 😂 Me? I’m loud, in voice and laughter, I make gobs of mistakes, am completely self amused, and wholly myself in my classroom. 5th grade is the right place for me! 

This online teaching “gig” is hard, because I’m talking to my computer!  For prerecorded lessons, I found it hard to figure out how to record and watch myself without completely focusing on the imperfections in the video, the lesson, and in myself. I saw real early that I could spend hours trying to make it right. First of all, I don’t have that kind of time, and second, that’s not how my classroom really is. If anyone can tell you about the imperfections in my day, it’s my 5th graders! I decided, unless there are extenuating circumstances, to go with take one. It’s the most realistic, and probably what my students are expecting. I’ve only re-recorded twice. Once when school was first canceled and I couldn’t get through a sentence without sobbing, and last week when my math facts were less than accurate. ;)

So I’m saying these are bloopers, but these are short clips that already went out to students as part of longer lessons. Please feel free to LOL. This is me. ❤️

Day 28: Britney Spears and My YouTubification

What do you use YouTube for? Figuring out how to open the hood of your car? Rewatching that hilarious SNL skit? Carpool Karaoke? Uploading a video from vacation for your blog? Obviously this is what I use it for. In the past several weeks, as I have been spending new, and creative time with my students, I have found that YouTube is waaaaaay different for the younger generation. I mean, it’s not like there weren’t warning signs. PewDiePie for instance. I didn’t even have to look up how to spell that (deep sigh). I’d heard about how “hilarious” he was, but didn’t ever, actually watch him, I just learned the spelling to help students spell correctly in their writing.  And there have been the various students at 5th Grade Progression that have wanted to grow up and be a “YouTuber”. What does that actually mean? I helped them with their speeches, but just sort of shrugged it off, because they’re 5th graders! 

But then last week happened. I went down (or was drug down) the rabbit hole. Did you know there are gobs of videos that are people playing video games and recording themselves?  Who would watch that? Oh — me! Pick me!! Me and my 5th grade BFFs. ;)  In an effort to connect with my students while they are at home we’ve had some purely social hangouts.  I’ve watched Flamingo and Albert play Roblox, more times than I care to say. I mean I’m mortified just saying that.  Spoiler alert, they may be the same person. I’m priding myself on not really knowing the answer to that. 

When I first started teaching (1998), a spin on Disney Channel at night and a download of Britney Spears was all it took to make me relevant.  Hit Me Baby One More Time. That seemed scandalous at the time, but I’m pretty sure I understood the innuendo, thankfully better than any 4th graders. I was really “popular” the year I helped hold the giant Burmese Python at an assembly, very similar to the one that Britney sang with at the VMAs. Being relevant seemed…easy!

But here we are some two decades later, and it appears that times have changed, or (GASP!), I’m old! Ahhhhhhh!!!!!  I didn’t come to this conclusion lightly, but evidence is mounting. At one of our Meets last week we encountered some dude, possibly named Phillipe, that reminded me of the Phantom of the Opera - half his face was mushed off. Well not him, but his avatar. There was an uncomfortable silence on the Meet after I said that. No one even asked, it was just discounted as a random comment! LOL.   I also made the mistake of thinking the word “subs” meant sandwiches, and said something inane, like “Who could have that many sandwiches?”.  It totally means “subscribers”.  And it makes sense (sort of?) that a person would have a million subscribers, and not a million sandwiches.  I mean, that's a lot of sandwiches!

Am I under caffeinated? Becoming irrelevant? Old....?  Or, and I'm choosing secret option number four, it's totally them, not me. That works for this situation right? RIGHT? 😉

Day 23: The Good

First of all, this title made me think of the Wicked song, “For Good” which then brought a whole new onslaught of tears. It’s the one where Elphaba and Galinda are parting ways and understanding just how impactful the other had been. On a day that felt like a giant missed goodbye, the tears started all over with the memory of that song.  Although, to be fair, I think that song always makes me cry.

I have been a near basket case for weeks. I always have big emotions, as we would say at school, but I’m usually able to keep them just tamped down enough to be functional. ;) Most of you don’t know the I cry on the turn of a dime. Folgers commercials at Christmas, pulling over for an ambulance, the ending to an 80s movie, the retelling of almost any book…tears. The school closure is definitely hard to take, but it also sits on week 12 of my remodel, and crashing with my parents.   For this fiercely independent girl, it has taken a toll. So, at the end up my rope already, this week has been impossible. The closure of Washington schools sent me right over the edge, and I had barely come back before  our Oregon announcement.  There’s so much grief for what is being missed.  My class, for sure, but also the series of “lasts” for our sweet Gearhart School. And so, I search for a legit silver lining, the one that will keep my head above the flood-line. 

The Good:

• I’m safe
• I’m healthy
• I have nearly scientific evidence, after all this, that my migraine injection is working
• I have a big beautiful beach in my backyard
• My dad laid in snacks from Costco like it’s Y2K
• So far, my pants still fit
• I’m tech savvy enough for this online school adventure
• I work in an incredibly supportive community
• So far, construction is moving forward
• That checkerboard floor is just like Westminster (if Westminster were done in lino)
• I have good friends that I can laugh and cry with
• I have sand in my shoes
• The tide comes in, and goes back out, no matter what. No matter what.

And perhaps the most good that I found today was the arms of my mom. I know that I am blessed to have this. I know that not everyone can see and hold their people right now.  After the news broke, I hopped in my car, drove to 7Dees, walked right to the front of the “here to pick up soil” line, and sobbed.  And I could do that.  💜

Day 18: Silver Lining

The thing I LOVE about Outdoor School (5th Grade Camp to my WA friends) is that I get to have a different relationship with my students.  The good camps are staffed with teachers, counselors, and directors, leaving me available for the highly unlikely emergency. I mean there have been a few, over the years, but mostly I get to wander amongst classes, check in with kids, be silly, laugh louder, and not worry about being the teacher. This year, we should have been at Outdoor School the week that school was canceled. That stung quite a bit as it is one of my very favorite parts of 5th grade. 

This week (all 3 days of it!) has been exhausting in ways I didn’t think possible. How can doing so little be so tiring? I mean, I might be working the same, or more hours, but it is emails, messages, videos, etc.  I’m on tech overload for the first time in my life, and I’ve had moments where I have wanted to scream that I didn’t sign up for this.   But there was one very bright and sparkly silver lining to the week: Google Meet. 

On Wednesday (you know, 100 days ago!), the experience nearly derailed me.  The kids all talked at once, had sisters, dogs, parents, music, EVERYTHING coming across their screens and through the microphone.  And they were so loud! I couldn’t get a word in edgewise to even talk about etiquette or procedures. The first session of office hours nearly did me in. I really questioned how I would survive this twice daily experience.  

In a moment of pure desperation, on Thursday I threw the towel in on having a nice and tidy Google Meet, and we played Kahoot. It sounds brilliant, but it was me grasping at straws. You may be wondering why I’m not teaching during this time, and my answer is long and boring, so just go with it. ;) Anyway, we had THE BEST time. Siblings and parents joined, everyone was loud, and laughing. And that just gave me some absolute perspective.  Letting go of the self-imposed structure I had created in my mind allowed for fun and smiles.

So, for a nice tidy summary, this week I:

• met 6 dogs, 5 cats, 2 pigs

• interacted with 7 siblings (some of which were numbered - hilarious!)

• had more “face time” with some parents than I have had all year

• learned that President Taft got stuck in his bathtub (that made me put down the Cheetos!)

• confirmed that I have zero knowledge of popular music

• learned how to present my screen in Google Meet

• practiced muting someone else’s screen during said Meet (stuff happens!)

• was introduced to Roblox, and made an account

• found out that I have absolutely no gaming tendencies

• understood just how much my students need connections

I’m not sure anyone will ever ask me to play Roblox again, but I laughed until I was crying. This is not Outdoor School. In fact, it may be the polar opposite! I still don’t know what I’m doing, but I’m starting to enjoy doing it.  💜